


are you really going to love me when i'm gone

by takeitlikeagem (rosesandcinnamon)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Pre Canon, greg isnt actually in this it just exists, reciprocated rose/pearl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 08:52:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4173624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesandcinnamon/pseuds/takeitlikeagem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Pearl, my love. I have to ask something of you."<br/>"Anything."</p>
            </blockquote>





	are you really going to love me when i'm gone

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not very sorry.  
> Recommended listening [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlCkafSYNJI)

She's practicing on the beach, doing anything but being inside.

Their time is running out, and she can't stand it.

"Pearl?"

Pearl stops her movement mid-strike, turning to face Rose.

"Yes?"

"We should talk."

She dissipates her weapon, and follows. They walk for a while, eventually sitting down on the sand, letting the waves lap at their feet. Rose stares into the distance, into the rising sun, before she speaks.

"Pearl, my love. I have to ask something of you."

"Anything."

"You've... Had a habit throughout our time together."

She looks at her, hands wrapping around each other nervously.

"No, no. It's not like that."

Rose takes her hands, holding them gently.

"You know I love you. But-" she takes a breath she doesn't need, "you hold on. You hold on to so much. To history, to stories, to our past, to us. It's a good thing, Pearl. We need someone like you."

She pauses, fingers curling tighter.

"But I have to ask you to let go, for once. For me."

"Rose..."

"Let go of your perceptions of me. Let go of me when you look at Steven. He deserves his own shot. He deserves a chance. I know you don't want me to go, and I wouldn't if it wasn't for something as important as this."

Pearl ducks her head.

"And I need you to view him as his own person. We.. We don't know what will happen when he's born. I don't know if I'll still exist in some way, Pearl. He'll be part of me. But he'll be his own person, and I need you to treat him like it."

Rose turns their hands, thumb stroking across the pale skin of her palm.

"I'm also asking this for you. I know it's going to be hard, and I know you're going to grieve, and that's okay. Whatever you feel is valid. But you can't hold on forever. Don't do it to yourself, don't do it to Steven."

She's quiet, and her words sound like a prayer.

"Please, Pearl."

Pearl has always thought humans are strange. She doesn't like their habits, and she's always hated crying.

It’s such a useless biological reaction- why do eyes leak to flush their ducts when the pain is emotional? It’s useless and unreasonable and-

Tears drip from her face to her knees, liquid darkening the fabric.

As with all things, it doesn't go unnoticed.

Rose loosens her grip on one of her hands to brush against her cheeks.

Pearl stares at the sand, once again contemplating a world without Rose.

Her thoughts are interrupted-she always quiets her messy consciousness when she hears her voice.

“Most of all, I’m sorry to leave you.”

A sob wracks her thin frame, and she finally looks up, to find tears in Rose's eyes too.

She doesn’t know what hurts more- the simple fact that Rose is crying, or that she’s crying because of Pearl, and Pearl doesn’t know what to do, she’s lost and broken and _defective_ and Rose was always the one to smooth over all her edges.

She’s hopeless.

There’s no strategy or sword for this.

There’s just the way she feels.

 

 


End file.
